September drifted by like a lazy afternoon. It started warm and slow. The sunlight embraced me, nurtured me, soothed me, and I danced amongst the wildflowers. I found myself smiling for no reason at all. But the glow of the amber light slowly transformed into a cool, crisp moonlit evening. September was just like that, a mix of light and dark, warm and cool. It felt both long and short, yet it allowed me just enough time to prepare for October in terms of many different things.
One thing I was hyper-aware of was the fact that my “back to work” date was set for October 1. Having been off work for a few months, I was aware that going back may be uneasy on some level. I prepared myself for routine, making meals, conversations with others, etc. One might think these are all quite basic things, and while they might be, I was aware that I would be publically responsible to look, be, and act like my “normal” self (after all, I would be a responsible member of society once again!). I immediately questioned what that was. Everyone grows with time, and change can bring about some tremendous growth and/or realizations. It is not my responsibility to have people understand what I went through and would be a disservice to myself to strive to be like the person I was before my leave. In essence, I allowed myself to grow and prepare myself throughout September. I focused on areas I felt I would need to draw upon when returning to work. While it was slow and steady, it certainly wasn’t boring. Well, to me, anyway.
I thrive in a clean, organized environment. This month allowed me to draw upon my creative and organizational skills, both of which make me quite happy. I had “to do” lists of many varieties, piles of items to deal with, and many papers to file. I enjoyed cleaning out old spaces transforming areas of neglect into useful spaces once again. Little did I know this must have been a metaphor for what I was achieving inside myself.
I allowed my body to feel this month. From enjoying fine wine and cheese to hiking up a mountain to relaxing on the couch or in the bathtub, I took a mental note to enjoy it all. I felt the warmth of a solid hugging embrace, and I felt the rush of fresh mountain air on my skin. I allowed myself to just be. Sure, my hair could use some highlighting, my nails could use some attention, and my muscles sure need to a massage, but overall, September was good to my body. And it may have something to do with happiness from within.
Awakened. That would be the word to describe my soul journey this September. For so many reasons, I finally feel as if I’m awake. Something “clicked” inside me last month and I have been feeling the after-effects ever since. I have a sense of knowing that I am finally on my right path in life. I have done so much soul work, and I finally feel ready to flourish. I feel special. I feel honoured. I feel deserving. I am finally ready to take control and live my best life possible.
Music on Repeat
Harvest Moon – Poolside (cover/remix)