My brain is laughing at me. No, really. I had about three paragraphs of this monthly reflection typed when I got up from the table to do something, returned, and it was gone. As someone who works in the communications field, I am usually an avid saver of all things, so this is quite amusing to me. And maddening.
This little situation basically sums up my past month. While I’m a big believer in self-reflection, it’s been a little more difficult for me recently. For some reason, I have felt like I need to have everything figured out right now, and I don’t. I truly don’t. All I know is that I am where I am supposed to be, metaphorically. I don’t judge myself, but I’ve surely felt a lot of self-pressure.
Spending time in nature this month helped me to see that most things in life require time and patience. Nature does not pressure, it doesn’t stress out about deadlines or rush healing. Nature simply exists.
Here is what stuck out to me this past month…
Like many people, I walk around with what feels like a thousand web browsing tabs left open in my head. I have so many ideas and ambitions, yet I tend to let fear get in the way. Sometimes when we have too many ideas or thoughts in our heads, it makes it hard to accomplish anything. This month I finished a book. I’m not pleased to say that I’m not an avid reader, but that’s the truth. A few months ago I began to read the novel, All Good Things by Sarah Turnbull, and when I put it down one day, I never thought months would go by before finishing it. Finally, about 3/4 of the way done, I thought I knew the whole story and was pleased I had read that far, but I knew, I absolutely knew, I simply HAD to finish reading the entire book. And I did. I finished it mid-May and am just so happy to have stuck with it. Reading books allows us to use our imagination and jump into somewhat of another world. I appreciated the little escape and while it’s really just one book out of a world of a billion books, it was good for my mind. It made me want to pick up another book on my shelf that’s collecting dust. So I would say that’s a win!
Rest. Please rest.
Why on earth is my body telling me to rest when it’s probably one of the best months to get out and explore nature having been kissed by Spring!? But it did. It told me to rest, and so I listened.
I walked when I felt like it, and I rested when I needed it. I slept when I needed it. I slept more, and more. I danced when my body felt like grooving, and I sat quietly when my body asked for stillness. One morning in late May I woke up actually wanting to go on a hike, so I did. Alone.
Hiking up and down a large cliff felt so good for my body. The four hours of sleep that came immediately after I got home from the hike felt good. The slight pain in my legs the next day felt good. And so now I welcome June and ask my mind and body to push itself a little more than it is doing right now. I have a good feeling that it will comply and I’ll be out walking and jogging, and perhaps even start to lift weights again. And whenever that happens, I’ll be pleased that I listened to my body and gave it the rest it apparently needed so desperately.
My solo hike was probably one of the main highlights of this month. The alone time, the beautiful scenery, the soreness my muscles felt was all good for my soul. It made me stronger. It quieted my mind. It enriched me.
That hike brought about more positive changes in me than I think I even realize. It felt so good. So good, I cannot even describe. And yet other people hike every week! It’s not that my solo hike was that significant to anyone, but it was very significant to me. It helped me on a spiritual level and I know it will continue to, as many changes are slow and steady, just like nature, right?!
I cannot wait to go on more solo hikes, or heck, hikes with friends are great too! But right now, the alone time, quietness, confidence, and appreciation for nature are all I want to focus on. And that is perfectly fine by me.
Me, on top of the Enderby Cliffs in B.C.
Music I was Obsessed With
- Love Stuck – Mother Mother
- 11:11 – Arkells
- Yin Yang – USS
- Birdcage – You Man (Thank you Brett and Maggie for showing this song to me. I’m actually obsessed!)