I started to speak more openly about how I’ve been feeling this past month. Anyone who asked got an honest answer. I struggled. I struggled a lot this month. This past winter seemed like the longest one of my life. And it eventually wore me out. And still, is wearing me out.
It’s the end of March. Winter is finally coming to an end. And yet with the sun shining more each day, I have found myself to be absolutely exhausted. It’s as if all of last year was one long race and the grand finale was to endure winter, and while I did make it to the end (spring), the race left me absolutely exhausted, gasping to breathe. It became clear to me I needed time to recuperate.
2017 was a long year filled with health issues and lots of personal ups and downs, so when winter came early (or what felt early to me because there was snow on the ground in early November on my birthday, which I am not used to), it was like the cherry on top of awfulness. In recognizing all this, in finishing the “race,” I realized I needed major self-care this month in order to get back to or be better than my old self. Here are the things I did to elevate my body, mind, and spirit.
I rested a lot. I absolutely needed it. Having large bouts of bad sleep throughout the winter turned me into a little bit of a zombie, so after realizing this and working on my sleep in February, I continued to rest as much as possible this month. Around the second week of March, I finally felt like going outside for a walk (I like to walk in the winter but didn’t do so this year). As the sun shone more each day, I felt inspired to get outside and soak up the sun rays while doing my best to ignore all the snow on the ground. Thankfully much of the snow is melting more and more each day now, but it was certainly a slow start to the month.
I am happy that I pushed myself to get outside and exercise my body. I enjoyed that familiar feeling of activating muscles in my body. That, combined with the sun helped me start to work up the energy to go for a jog at the end of the month. Baby steps! Baby steps…
I pushed myself a few ways this past month, mostly to accomplish a few small tasks, and also to be social. Usually, social events are super fun and energizing for me to attend. Usually, I really want to see people. Usually, I converse freely. Usually, I have so much to give to others. This month though, I needed to push myself to do those things. I pushed myself a lot mentally. And that’s all I want to say about that right now. 🙂
A combination of self-reflection, quiet time, praying and meditating all seemed to have impacted me on a spiritual level. Spending time doing these activities connected me to my core being, someone whose voice has been lost for quite some time. In giving myself quiet time to reflect, I realized it is useless to be hard on myself for feeling low. What is needed is patience and a lot of self-care. If other people don’t understand, that is their problem and not mine. I have to do what is right for me.
BONUS! Music I was obsessed with